Don’t take the people around you for granted.

Everyone is a gift in your life, whether you see them that way or not. It takes great insight to maintain this distinction. The person you view as a pain in your neck, is the same person who teaches you compassion and patience. When it comes to the loss of a child, seeing their passing in a way that is other than negative is a huge stretch for just about everyone I know.


Jane Smith, the mother of Sierra Wilder who died after the New Year in a Kentucky plane crash, is a shining example of someone practicing the concept of Zero Adversity---where you accept what has happened, and then seek the positive in the event, in order to process it and move forward. She didn’t default to how and why it happened. When speaking about her daughter’s death, she said that there is a positive side to her passing. She hoped it would help others appreciate those in their life right now, never taking them for granted, and putting petty arguments, grievances, and disagreements about the small stuff of life aside, for they could be taken from us at any moment.

Jane expressed how she gave her daughter hugs and kisses before leaving on the annual trip and received pictures and communications from her during the trip. In a nut shell, she knew there was nothing she could do to bring Sierra back, and consciously focused on having no regrets.

This level of insight in the midst of experiencing this form of event is rare and I applaud her for expressing her positive insights in a public forum. Of course, adopting this insight is only half of the equation. Inspired action is the other half that makes this insight your own.

Someone I know said goodbye to his beloved wife early one morning, only to never see her alive again. She died a few minutes later in a car accident near their home. If this were you, would you have no regrets about the actions you took before watching them leave? Let’s face it, you take for granted that your loved ones and friends will always be here. If you actually knew they would not, how differently would you act? Would you embrace them and let them know, verbally or non-verbally, how they made you feel or take the time to express how grateful you are that they are in your life, at every opportunity?

Or do you get caught up in insignificant feelings of anger, disappointment, resentment, bitterness, and the such, that inhibit you from feeling gratitude? After they have passed is not the time to say how you feel or express gratitude for having had them in your life.

The next time you see someone you care about—a friend, family member, or acquaintance that has helped you in some way—take the time to express thanks or gratitude in that moment. Physically, it might be something as simple as a handshake, or a hug, or kiss. Verbally, a simple heart felt thank you, while looking straight into their eyes, can do wonders for you and them.

 I once knew a millionaire businessman and speaker who came to do a presentation in my hometown. What was amazing was how, in the midst of hundreds of people vying for his attention after his presentation, when I took my Mother to meet him, he looked her in the eye and shook her hand as if she were the only person in the room. His ability to connect with people was magical and sincere.

Everyone deserves to be thanked for their efforts and should never be taken for granted, especially people you don’t personally know. The person who helps you in a restaurant or bar, makes up your room on vacation, or helps you in the vegetable isle at your local grocer are all special and deserve to be treated as such.

During a vicious flu season, I discovered that a young girl who worked in the vegetable isle at my local grocery store contracted the flu and passed away from the illness two weeks later. She was only 42. This kind of event is tragic by most people’s standards—someone so young with an immune system so compromised that she died of a flu that should have been curable. I never miss an opportunity to sincerely thank those who have helped me in life. Everyone is special and, as I said previously, deserves to be respected and told so. Even those that fail to live up to your definition of great service. For those who work in the service industry, it is a thankless job where very few take the time to acknowledge their efforts. Because I am not privy to the motivations behind why someone is not happy, I kill these emotions with kindness, which usually transforms their attitude completely when they see that someone does respect and appreciate their work. Sugar is not just something that sweetens your food and drink. It can also transform a sour attitude and disposition.


The land of regret can be massive and living within it is a curse you place upon yourself. I have known many people who’ve used the words, If only I had…, to begin to describe their past inaction withs those who have died. Preventing these simple words from ruling your thoughts is as easy as remembering to take the time to appreciate those who are in your life right now.